Born Equal

When the “Royal Baby” is born, it will undoubtedly be compared to other children born on the same day. There will be documentaries charting the life of these children who share a birthday with the “Special Child” the child who was born better.

Poppycock, give me the life of the child who is born and can dream of being anything they want. Can the Royal Baby dream of being a footballer? Being in a girl band? Winning an Oscar? When you turn your back on gaining things by merit, you lose so much. There is only one thing this child can be and that is Monarch. What’s the point of this new child trying to excel at anything?

poppycock

 

No gap year to find themselves for this one, shacked up in a hostel with 2 swedes and a bottle of Vodka. Like a girl? Wait a minute while MI5 (hello if you are reading this.) check her entire family out before you can hold her hand in public and if the baby happens to be a girl, forget holding hands with a girl even if you want to.dianaShe was the Queen of my Heart

Oh and don’t forget the press, they play a bit nicer now, they did however kill your Granny even though some folk will try to tell you it was your Great-Grandpa that did it. They also have some “nice” pics of your Mum, your Uncle Harry and your Great Aunt Sarah having her toes sucked by not Great-Uncle Andrew, Google the Camillagate tapes if you want a look into Grandpa’s warped mind.

Honestly, this new child is being born into a horror story of intrusion and scrutiny, I wouldn’t wish their life on anyone. But, hey they say they are better than us and we agree.

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