I’ve been thinking a bit since the tubby mockney Jamie Oliver opened his pie hole and let his belly rumble about poor people and the work ethic of his fellow Brits. What I’ve been thinking is, making recipes and telling people how to cook is easy, so I thought I’d have a bash. (Just to clarify, I’m not saying working in kitchens and serving the public is easy, I’m saying cook books and TV shows isn’t hard work.)
Billy’s Chicken Nachos
Ingredients: there you go, bought the chicken and the veg locally, the rest I got in Tesco. Total cost roughly a tenner (pucka!)
Home made Nachos.
Get your bag of tortilla, I had 8.
Coat both sides with olive oil, sprinkle with salt. Or paprika or some other spice, whatever you want, every man’s the captain of his own ship. cut the tortillas into 8 (nacho size! Natch!)
Throw them on a backing tray and bung them in the oven gas mark 4 go watch your big telly for 7 mins.
Pause Jeremy Kyle and go and give them a wee shoogle then leave them for another 6 mins. Take out oven, throw into baking tray. Bingo bango home made nacho!
Now the Chicken Bit
I bought a roast chicken from the fish shop next door to my work, if your poor replace it with a couple of freshly caught seagulls, if your Jamie replace it with swan.
remove and throw away the skin (I ate it whilst I was cooking, but I’m never visited by the health inspector.)
Basically what you are going to do is get stuck in and rip the bugger to wee bits and throw it on top of the Nachos. To appease ladies and vegetarians, try to buy a chicken that has had a fulfilling life and been able to gambol freely around the countryside. Sorted!
Throw your bag of pre grated cheese on top. (I buy pre grated because I’m a British worker and inherently lazy, if I was an immigrant I’d be industrious and grate my own, aint that right Jamie?)
Give them all a right good toss, don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty.
10 mins gas mark 2 (just to put a wee heat through the chicken and melt your cheese) Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy!
How I made Salsa
Chop your onion (finely)
Plenty of tomatoes chopped
Now I didn’t use chilli, but you can. I’m not mad for that or coriander come to think of it, so I never bothered with that either.
Squeeze lime juice all over it.
I gave it a wee going over with Garlic Salt.
So basically I think I made a nice bruschetta topping, but hey I’m not going to come to your house and tell you your doing it wrong so give me peace.
My wife said it was lovely, my toddler liked it, what’s not to like it’s (Chicken, Cheese and crisps.) I bought sour cream, because I wasn’t sure how to make it (maybe next time.) But yeah, telling folk how to cook, dead easy.